Reviews in review

The typical review is expected to involve a summary of the thing being reviewed, followed by an objective opinion from the writer. I say bulls#!t. As writers, we can do much more. The last time I checked this wasn't high school where you're required to regurgitate what you've read or seen and then give a brief, well-backed-up opinion on it. This is the real world, where you're allowed to speak in the first person, give your opinion freely, and not have to worry about whether or not you've given it in the proper order with citations proving you're not the only one who thinks such-and-such a way.

So you want to know how a real review should go? Read up.

Without giving any spoilers, address some of the more important details of whatever it is you're reviewing and then give your opinion on each thing as you go. For instance, when reviewing a book, give some input on how you feel about the character development while giving a bit of a summary at the same time. Use that as a springboard to go into any plot holes or slip-ups you found while reading. Then, once you've reached the end of your article, give an overall opinion of the book. This keeps you from sounding like the inside flap of a dust jacket and gets your reader more involved and interested in what you have to say. You can't just go "this is what the book's about" and then give it a thumbs up or down; you have to be more creative and thoughts-on. WHY didn't you like the book? Was it just too slow for you? Did a character remind you of someone you knew when you were a kid? It could be anything and everything, so explore your opinion as you give it.

C'mon people, I know you can do better. Fresh writing styles are the new regurgitation technique, so use 'em. Overall, I give the reviews of today (for anything) a 4.5 out of 10. So much for advances in literature.